Thursday, January 15, 2009

A Day Without.

Some days life's plan feels hindered by daily requirements, creating a barrier against the needs of the heart. This rang true for today. The morning seemed inexplicably desolate, much like an unpopulated town I passed through and stopped in for gas. This could have been a result of an inconsistent sleep; Despite getting to bed before midnight it was plagued by a restless mind.

The mind didn't shut up. He rambled on about family, about togetherness and the heart of God. Questioned the definition of community and the thoughtfulness of donation. He dissected love and friendship and career and motivation... He weighed heavily on everything so much, that my eyes began to hurt from concentration. The entire morning I was playing into the mind's demanding needs and as such my heart grew heavy. These thoughts were profound and poetic, like a Ben Gibbard lyric, and frustration pressed on my temples as I felt the four walls of responsibility restricting any creative outlet or indulgence in the mind's musings.

Then, reflecting on the restless sleep, I realized that today was void of something else: my morning coffee. As the cup was slowly emptied, the thoughts became sparse and less overwhelming, the eyes began to relax and today seemed less vital to the existence of man than the previous hour. Turns out my body just needs caffeine or sleep to make living bearable...