Certainty.

It took me a little over a year to own my faith. Even then, it wasn't as evident to my character as my everyday styled bed-head. I would acknowledge it when it was safe to do so or in a like-minded group, but intimidation would hit when I felt being Christian wasn't the popular thing to be.

Yet it has been less than two years and I declare it pretty confidentially. I'm still a baby, still learning, but I own it. Not shyly, nor apologetically. I am ignited with amazement and hunger to learn and grow. Prior to being baptized I used to think it too dangerous to have a cemented faith, as if someone would come along and destroy the foundation my life was built on. Tetertottering on the unknown was a sign of intelligence and a safe guard. My naive arrogance has since been humbled.

I had the pleasure of bumping into an old teacher of mine who help shape my outgoing nature and love for the arts through musical theatre. We ran into each other at my church. In addition to learning that I was five weeks away from marrying the sweetest girl alive, she also found out that my life took a turn from a love of filmmaking to filmmaking and storytelling for He who is love. She grew teary eyed and up until tonight I didn't know why...

My love for storytelling is a mirror of the story God has written for me; journeying me through art and theatre to writing and movies to Him being in all the aforementioned and more. I may have only allowed Him a part of my life a year and ten months ago, but He has always been involved. As she left me Sunday morning she repeated twice, "God is good". And He is.

I envision friends from high school reading this and getting freaked out. This coming from the kid who loved to shock everyone by crossing the line, I now do so in a very socially dangerous way. Sadly, a part of me wishes to keep my past and my present separate to avoid awkward run-ins and quiet murmurings, but that intimidation dwindles day by day. It dwindles because it has to.

I had a great conversation back in the day due to confrontation of past and present. An old friend challenged "this Christian business". I love this friend and I was able to share. As I did so his eyes may have glossed over and he looked at me as if he lost a friend, but in that conversation I wasn't afraid to own it. I hope that showed more respect to our friendship than pretending to be something I am not. Loving people is easier the more your get to know what is on their heart; the joys and the sorrows.

People fear the unknown, but when I was agnostic I was far more bewildered by those who aligned themselves with a set of beliefs. Their certainty glimmered with some craziness. In a broken world, people love to hold the power in their life, believing they know what is best for them. I've discovered the opposite, my life has been liberated since accepting that the more power I let go, the more beautiful my life becomes.